Last year, I was doing a lot of inner work. I was, in a way, befriending my younger self. I’ve even called it ‘dating myself.’ The point was to get to know myself and sometimes, I just had to invent myself as I was. Some people get hung up on ‘finding’ who they are. You don’t have to find her; BE her.
What Is Inner Work?
When doing inner work, we identify the source of our negative emotions by tracing them back to the source, then rewrite our story so the same story of our past doesn’t cause negative emotions in our present. As a result, you will enjoy more freedom from fear and have a more balanced and happy life. Each time a negative emotion presents itself, rewrite your story and watch as your life becomes better with each story from your past you rewrite.
All these years, I’ve been searching
For who I’m supposed to be.
All this time I’ve been wasting
Cause I was right in front of me.
– Imagine Dragons
Begin the process.
I took a walk around the yard just trying to clear my energy and separate my thoughts. Then I came inside and turned on some music, which just happened to be Imagine Dragons. It was like they were singing my thoughts. I felt as though the Universe was actually communicating with me through music. I didn’t just hear it, I felt it. From that point on, I began having faith in myself and moving forward.
We often hold ourselves to unrealistic expectations. Each of us is on a crazy journey and we don’t always understand it but we need to believe in ourselves and believe that there is more out there for us. We try to understand what we want and who we want to be and we try to let go of things and become better versions of ourselves. I call this the exploratory phase.
Give yourself permission to explore, which means that it’s okay if you try something new today. We all want success and happiness instantaneously. We want it last year, but we’re not always doing what we need to do. We’re not listening to what we need to hear and we waste time comparing ourselves to everyone around us. When we step back and accept that we are right where we need to be, even if that isn’t as far along as someone else, then the Universe provides for us and we begin to see our own progress.
Some of you think I just showed up one day and I immediately started killing it. That’s not the case at all. I started my first business about nine years ago and I’ve had a few businesses since then. As I’ve grown and evolved, my businesses have changed and some have dissipated. Up until last year, I designed custom stamps. People went crazy for these wooden rubber stamps and I even went viral once and was featured on BuzzFeed. Even though I was successful, I wasn’t happy because it was never about the money, it was about fulfillment. When my businesses failed or when they became unfulfilling, I didn’t give up or call myself a failure. I continued to explore other options that would hopefully satisfy my soul.
Generally, if you desire to start your own business, you desire fulfillment, you desire a higher level of consciousness. Many of us, however, grew up in a family or a community in which society mapped out our lives. Society dictated the actions necessary in order to be successful and we grew up with the misconception that following society’s plan is the only option.
You don’t have to follow society’s order of events, which is to graduate high school, go to college, find a mate, have babies, etc. You need to follow your own path. Let yourself be guided by your inner light.
You have a choice.
You decide who you want to be.
You decide what you want to do.
You decide who you want to be with.
Over the years, I worked with a lot of different people, I took a lot of courses, I worked with different coaches, read books, and so on. I was trying to find answers. I was looking for my purpose. People have the assumption that their ‘purpose’ is their ‘career’ but you can serve others in so many capacities. Those around you can begin to flourish and change because of your state of being. Your purpose could be to spread happiness when you smile at someone. When you think you’ve found your purpose and experience it, the feeling is indescribable, but it just gets better and better. Even the most amazing fucking feelings in the world become more amazing.
How did I get to this state of being?
- I let go of the regret and the shame.
- I let go of thinking that I failed because of all my ‘wrong’ decisions.
- I started to accept myself as I am.
- I got to know myself.
Accept that the person you are and the person you want to be are not the same at the moment. You’ve done the best you could with what you’ve had and with what you’ve known. You had to learn through experience but you can be proud that now, you know. You know what you can do differently. You know how to do better… so DO BETTER.
Find courage, motivation, and inspiration in new places. Act from your soul. When you become self-aware, you realize how you’re shortchanging yourself. You realize where you’re still limiting yourself. Forgive yourself.
You have to put the (inner) work in but when you no longer force yourself to think positively, force yourself to feel happy, force yourself to take action, then you will truly open up to the Universe and the Universe will open up to you.
- What is it that I’m not letting myself see?
- What is it that I’m not letting myself hear?
- What is it that I’m not letting myself feel?
- What do I want?
- What do I need?
The answers are within you.
It is a combination of both darkness and light that makes us who we are. There is a challenge for growth, to become more and to become better. But as far as the capacity in which we paralyze ourselves; that is our own choice. Shifting and becoming better versions of ourselves are actually not meant to be difficult. If you desire this enough, and you push yourself to explore deep enough, and you allow your soul to lead you rather than your mind, you can begin shifting fairly quickly. It doesn’t have to take you ten years to transform.
As we begin to evolve, release programming and other shit that we were fed throughout our lives and continue to peel back our layers, we gain self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-love. From there, we can begin our journeys to who we are meant to be.