If only I had XYZ, then I would have everything that I want.
If only I was smart enough, I would have gotten a free ride to college.
If only I would have picked a career that made me more money.
If only I would have gone to college, I would have a career that I love.
If only I would have grown up in a different city, I would have more opportunities.
If only I had an office in my house, then my business would work.
If only I had a new computer, I know I could get stuff done.
If only I had a really nice website, I could get more clients.
If only I could afford that coach, I know I’d be who I need to be.
If only I could afford that gym membership, I’d have the body that I want.
If only I had the gym membership and the money, I could hire a personal trainer and have the body I want.
If only I could buy that vehicle. If only I could sit at a coffee shop every day.
IF ONLY YOU STOPPED MAKING EXCUSES!
Playing the role of victim is so much easier than busting our asses, right? We say we want something, but we’re not willing to put in the work to get it. There’s always something in the way. Bullshit! You just don’t want it enough because, when you do, you do what it takes and you realize it doesn’t take much. You don’t need the website, you don’t need a million dollars in the bank.
All that’s keeping you from getting what you want is YOU.
I played the role of a victim and now I realize that I was pathetic in the way that I chose to think. I blamed my husband, I blamed my parents, I blamed my elementary school, I blamed my brain, I blamed school teachers, I blamed everything and everyone but myself. I wouldn’t even look at myself in the mirror. I would say, “If only I had the money, I could buy these clothes and then I would like the way I look. If only I could buy that purse, I would feel really good about myself.”
It’s all fucking excuses. You could spend $100,000 on a coach or $100 on a coach or just talk to me in the group and, unless you’re ready, nothing is going to happen. Instead, you’d rather say, internally, poor me and you don’t know what it’s like to be depressed. Are you fucking kidding me? I know exactly what it’s like. I wanted to die most of my life; I was that low. I had nervous breakdowns in high school. I felt psychotic at times because I couldn’t even be comfortable in my own skin. I hated myself. I hated who I was. I couldn’t even look myself in the eyes.
I didn’t change overnight and I’ve come to understand that I will continue to change because I’m human. We’re never perfect and we’re here to learn things and improve. It’s up to you how your destiny will unfold and it’s up to you to take the necessary steps. Some people lift themselves from the darkest of situations and rise to places of success and inspiration, people like Oprah Winfrey and Joe Vitale whose journeys have led them to become movement makers.
I promise that even the strongest of people have had to overcome their fears, their own insecurities, and, yes, even their own lame-ass excuses. These things never go away, you will always have to battle them but you will get more confident and it will be easier to push them aside. I still have insecurities, I still fear that by putting myself out there, I open myself up to judgment by people who think I’m nothing special. Then I ask myself why I’m feeling this way. I analyze it a little bit, not dwell on it, analyze it. What’s going on here? Is this really what someone has said or am I creating this in my head? Are people really sitting here, commenting on my videos that I’m a fraud and I don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about? No, I’ve never actually had anybody tell me that.
My brain conquers itself. Then I have to laugh it off and ask myself, “What could I be doing with my energy? What could I be doing that’s really positive right now for myself or for another person?” It’s a matter of shifting focus. Sometimes, I give in to these thoughts but, at the end of the day, I know who I am and I’m not going to let those who are on their own journeys get in my way. That is exactly how you need to think as well.
Everything we do, everything we feel, everything we believe, is simply a choice. Take responsibility for your actions as well as your choices.
You can choose to see something different, you can choose to be something different, but most people don’t want to change. Why? It’s uncomfortable. Do you want to know my biggest reason for taking so long to climb out of my depression? It was uncomfortable. As much as I hated the darkness, I loved it and fed off of it so much so that I actually had to relearn how to smile.
Events can happen to us, guys. I’m not saying that no one has ever made us experience trauma or made us experience pain. I’m not saying that. That’s part of the lesson of life. I’ve been cheated on, I’ve been verbally abused, I’ve done things that I’m not proud of but, at the same time, they were my own fault. When I reflect upon those things now, I see why they happened.
Make your own reality. <-you can, and you are STRONGER than you know.
You either play the role of the victim or you play the role of the warrior.
Some people are on the fence, which is passive-aggressive. Usually, you communicate outward. You give the impression of I am this way, I am this way, I am this way; but, inside, you’re the biggest coward. Behind the scenes, you’re a coward. These are the people we view as being frauds because what they’re projecting outward and who they are inside aren’t the same. When you allow yourself to be vulnerable and acknowledge the moments when you’re weak, the moments when you want to give up, and the moments when you feel like a failure, then you can begin to outwardly project what’s on the inside. (Hopefully, that’s not confusing.) Basically, you can be a total badass making life your bitch on some days and screwing shit up and wanting to say fuck it all on other days. The best part is you can be both and you can project both. You don’t have to hide your flaws, own them.
I challenge you to take a stand for yourself. I challenge you to slowly stop playing the role of a victim, but the first step is admitting that you are. The point is to finally call yourself out on your own bullshit. Say, “I am no longer playing the role of a victim because I am more than that.” Do you need some affirmations? Focus, stare at yourself in the mirror and say, “I am enough. I am worthy. I am deserving of success. Success and wealth come easily to me. I am worthy of money. I am worthy of abundance in all forms, shapes, and sizes. I am worthy of having it all.”
“I choose. I choose to have it all.”
“I choose to take the steps necessary in order for me to fulfill that desire in my heart.”
“I choose the best for my life because it’s no one else’s.”